Drowning
by Lasttoknow88
Summary: Max breaks Casey's heart for the last time.But,no one is home to dry her tears except for Derek, who usually can't stand tears...especially hers.Previously a one-shot told by Derek's POV.
1. Drowning in misery

In my heart the rain is falling

**Drowning**

In my heart the rain is falling  
"Help me" it seems to be calling  
Can you hear its plea?  
Are you blind or can you see?  
The rain falls with a steady beat  
Falling steady with your deceit  
It's thunderous roars reflect my pain  
Our friendship will never be the same  
It cries in the place of my eyes  
Never heard, it sighs  
In my heart, rain falls  
Do you hear it's calls?  
It cries "This isn't fair!"  
The sky is nearly black, dark like your stares  
Clouds drape my heart's sky  
No room left for dreams to fly  
Lightening pierces its wailing walls  
Do you hear it's calls?  
The thunder continues to roar  
It's you it calls for  
Do you hear me?  
Do you see?  
All the hurt because of your deceit

Max cheated on Casey for the last time! She finally had enough of that jerk and in all honesty I couldn't be happier. Even though she's been crying her gorgeous ocean eyes out for that piece of fucking cardboard, I've never been happier. Maybe now she'll see me as who I really am…the one guy she will never have to change for. I know her better than any of those other bastards and she'll always be perfect in my eyes.

Annoying at times? Sure. Stubborn? Absolutely. Gorgeous? Anyone with or without eyes could see that. Kind and smart? Without a doubt. She's literally the total package. So why did she change everything about herself to make him happy? I'll never understand.

But somehow that wasn't enough for him. He had the perfect girl and he lost her…maybe I should give him a thank you card? Ha! The world's dumbest asshole award would suit him better, though I have to admit I owe him something. After all, if he hadn't cheated with Amy, Casey wouldn't be crying on my shoulder at this moment and she wouldn't be in my arms.

Yes, even when the girl of my dreams is bawling her eyes out all over my favourite polo shirt…I couldn't be happier. I can't stand tears but for her I'd stand in a room with thousands of crying women if it meant I could be with her. (shudders) Okay maybe a room of ten crying women instead?

I hate being just her step brother. If Dad never married Nora, I would've never met Casey. However, if he never married her, then dating her daughter wouldn't have been an issue. Since they are married, it would be an issue and they would never approve of it, even if Casey felt a fraction of what I feel. Worst of all, Casey would need that approval before even taking a chance with me.

"Derek?" she sniffled as she raised her head.

"Yeah, Case?"

"Why are you doing this? Why are you being this nice to me? Not that I don't appreciate it, but I think I just ruined your shirt," she gave me a small smile and some of her old sparkle returned to her eyes. I could swear my heart skipped a beat. Yes, I admit it. I, Derek Michael Venturi, am a sap but, if you tell anyone I'll have to kick your ass to Antarctica. Capito?

"I guess that means you owe me a new shirt, then" I smirked a bit hoping she'd see that I was just joking.

"Der-rek!," she laughed. "You can be such a jerk sometimes"

"At least I wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend," I replied before thinking. The sparkle in her eyes faded all too quickly.

"Shit, Case. I'm sorry that was uncalled for. I didn't mean to…," I muttered. How did I always screw things up? Oh yeah…I NEVER THINK! DAMN IT! ARGH!

"It's okay, Derek. For once your right," she whispered, looking down as she pulled away from me completely.

"Case, I'm sorry. That wasn't what I meant. I shouldn't have mentioned it. I…um," I stuttered making a fool of myself. _The_ Derek Venturi does **not **stutter…so why am I stuttering now? God! Only she can make me do stupid things like this!

"It's okay, Derek. I'm going to bed, I'm really tired. It's been a long day."

"Case…," I was practically begging her to hear me out.

"We can talk tomorrow, alright?"

"Fine," I sighed knowing I wouldn't win this…argument? It seemed like a fight but the usual fire wasn't in there. She sounded as defeated as I felt. No winner in this fight, only a depressed girl and me, a hopelessly in love guy who keeps screwing shit up.

"Thank you," she whispered, still looking at the ground.

I walked over to where she stood, and did something neither of us had expected. I placed my hand under her chin and raise it so she looked at me rather than my "messy" floor and kissed her forehead. It was no more than a second, but in that second I almost felt like maybe, just maybe I still had a chance with her.

"I'm sorry, I said that," I whispered close to where my lips had just touched her smooth skin. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I was angry that Max did that to you. You can do so much better than that, Case". I stopped myself before I admitted anything and pulled away with my lips tingling from the light kiss.

"Go to sleep, okay? You look like you need it". Any other day she would have yelled at me. Calling me names like "skirt-chasing clad" or "chauvinist pig" but, today she nodded her head. I finally let go of her chin and she turned and walked to my bedroom door. With her hand on the doorknob, she looked over her shoulder and once again thanked me and left.

I sat on my bed staring at the wall that separated us wondering if she would forgive me and if she could ever love me. Just a few minutes ago, she was in my arms, sitting right on this bed and I was on top on the world. Now, I'm alone again wishing Ed had invented a time machine so I could erase those stupid words.


	2. Colliding emotions

**A/N: Thanks to my reviewers for the encouragement, this chapter's for you. I decided to start at the beginning of the story (occurs the same day as previous chapter) and work my way back to Derek comforting Casey (from her POV), etc. Thought I'd let you know before it got too confusing******** Enjoy and let me know your thoughts…suggestions are always welcome as is constructive criticism. Sorry if anyone seems too out of character (not my intention) just let me know if they're unrealistic and I'll work on it.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I did, but no, I don't own Life with Derek or any song lyrics that may appear throughout the story (I do own the first chapter's poem, however terrible it may be :P) **

_Saturday Afternoon (day of the party)_

_Casey's POV_

It was all anyone at school could talk about to the point where it sounded like a broken record. It was going to be the party of the year and if I wasn't dating Max, I would have never been invited. Needless to say, despite my newfound status among my peers, I wasn't exactly thrilled to be paraded around like Max's trophy. Cheerleader or not, I am **not** an object to be shown off to his Neanderthal friends.

We started dating again after a month of me "finding myself" or as my boyfriend so loving put it, "wasting time". Sometimes it felt like he didn't understand me at all. Even Derek, as annoying and obnoxious as he is, understood me better than my raven-haired boyfriend… maybe rekindling my love, no, my admiration for Max was a mistake.

"Casey! I'm here!" I heard Em shout up the stairs.

"I'm in my room!"I replied, shoving my diary under my pillow, praying that Derek wouldn't find it before I properly hid it. There is too much blackmail material in that little lilac notebook, including an unsisterly thought or two about him…okay more than that, not that he will ever know. It's a secret I intend to take to the grave, or at least until I know he cares about me too, which is not likely to happen.

Emily's footsteps thudded at a quick pace as she ran up the stairs. She appeared at my door, out of breath with an ecstatic look upon her face and bags from a variety of stores in her hands. The bags were so full that they weighed her down by ten pounds or so. She couldn't wait to get ready for tonight's party and I couldn't help but laugh at my best friend's excitement.

"Em, it's just a party," I said between giggles.

"It's not _'just a party'_," she said holding the oversized bags and attempting to use her fingers to make quotations mark in the air. "It's _the_ party of the year"

"You look prepared to do battle," I continued to laugh as I stood to help her with the bags.

"Battle, indeed. Poor girl has a lot of work to do before you look decent enough to stand beside the captain of the football team," Derek smirked as he leaned against the doorframe.

"DER-RECK! GET OUT!"

"Good luck, Emily. You'll need all the luck in the world to turn ugly stepsister over here into Snow White."

"It's Cinderella, you idiot!" I yelled. He laughed as he left, knowing that once again he had gotten a rise out of me.

Emily laughed from a comfortable place on my bed.

"Not funny, Em," I must have given her the death glare I reserve only for Derek for she abruptly stopped and looked at me confusedly.

"Casey, we're just having fun. He didn't mean it," she whispered with tears brimming her dark eyes.

Sighing I walked over and sat next to her, staring at the pastel colours in my carpet._ I have been oversensitive lately and I should've never yelled at my only true friend among a sea of pretenders_. I voiced my thoughts unknowingly and snapped into reality when I heard a soft chuckle.

"A sea of pretenders," Emily snorted. "When was the last time you wrote a poem?"

"Two days ago. Why?"

"'Cause you still have to get it out of your system," she laughed.

"So are we okay?"

"Of course we are! I need a ride to the party."

"Oh no, you're one of _them_ too!"

That sent the both of us into a fit of giggles. When we finally stopped laughing some odd minutes after, we each grabbed a bag and tore through it in search of an outfit to wear.

"Our outfits have to be perfect. Memorable, classy, appropriate, stylish," I listed before she laughed again.

"You are putting too much thought into this," Emily smiled as she shook her head.

"I have to though! I over think! It's who I am. Besides, I have to look nice for Max, right?" I asked somewhat resentfully.

"Case? Mind if I ask you something?"

"No, ask away," I looked up from an obscenely short black leather skirt with a raised brow.

"Oops, that wasn't supposed to go in there," she stuttered.

"Do I want to know?" I said wrinkling my nose.

"Probably not. Think me, that skirt and Sheldon's birthday in four days."

"I think I'm going to be sick," I flung the skirt away from me.

"Stop changing the subject! Like I was saying, I want to ask you something but I need you to answer truthfully, ok?"

"Are you trying to scare me? 'Cause it's working."

"Funny. No, I wanted to ask you why you got so upset earlier. The truth, none of that mumbo jumbo stress crap, understood?"

"Em, I am in such a state that logic itself could not explain it. My emotions are colliding forcefully and changing within mere seconds that I cannot contain them nor comprehend reasons behind these bursts of anger, bliss, desperation, hatred and love. Now I live in this murky existence in which nothing is clear. I find myself feeling affection towards my enemy and abhorrence towards my lover. The bane of my existence is now the only one I yearn to have return my feelings. Whilst I would prefer never to have given my lover another chance to prove his immaturity, distain and lack of patience toward myself and my need to discover who I am and, last but certainly not least, his conceit."

"Whoa! Hold on a second," Emily interrupted with a dumbfounded expression as the wheels turned in her mind to comprehend my outpouring of frustration and confused thoughts. "Casey, are you telling me what I think you are?"

"That depends on what you think I'm telling you," I replied sheepishly pretending to look at the contents of the bag currently in my hands.

"Do you regret dating Max again because you think he doesn't appreciate you?"

"Yes, I do. The spark between us is gone, as is the blinder I used to wear. I care for him and I want our relationship to work but…" I trailed off unsure of what held me back.

"But you like Derek in a non- sisterly way," Emily stated

"I am not at liberty to admit or deny feelings which may or may not exist," I whispered.

"Oh my God…you do!"


	3. Secrets and Nonbrotherly thoughts

**A/N: Sorry for the late update, life's been a little crazy lately. This is a short one, kind of a filler chapter until I get to the party chapter. Once again thank you for the nice reviews, you guys are great.**

**Disclaimer: Are Casey and Derek dating on the show? No, you say? Guess I still don't own LWD (**

Derek's POV

"Oh my God…you do!" I heard Emily shriek in that annoying, over-the-top scream girls do when some big secret is revealed.

Between her and Space Case, it's a miracle I don't need a hearing aid. Not that I don't mind a girl screaming every now and then, as long as it's for a good reason if you catch my drift…I wonder how_ she'd_ sound if…I DID NOT JUST THINK THAT! ESPECIALLY NOT ABOUT **HER! **I mentally screamed at myself and shook my head back and forth almost violently. Getting off my computer chair, I crouched close to the air vent in my room to hear what the big deal was and to get decent blackmail information on Case, of course…why else would I want to hear this secret right? Sad how the King of Lies can't even lie to himself, isn't it? At least the booze tonight will help me forget. Maybe I'll hook up with that chick that sits in front of me in math, that little brunette with those huge fake boobs…Sandra? Samantha? Stacy?

ARGH! Who cares?! She'll never replace **HER!** Damn Casey! She just had to take over my life! She couldn't be satisfied with living in the same house, oh no that'd be too easy. Instead she took over my life, my thoughts, and even my dreams, I can't even sleep without Casey popping up in my dreams wearing my hockey jersey or her old school uniform…not that she needs to know, right? This is between you and me. NO ONE MUST KNOW!

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! Em shush! Derek will hear you!" I could hear the panic in her voice and began to think the worst…I could see her in my head, holding back tears and shaking because of how horrible this secret was…OH GOD! What if she's pregnant?! I'LL FUCKING KILL MILLER! Stupid bastard knocked my Casey up didn't he?! I pound his cardboard face into the pavement until even his mother won't recognize his hideous face! PLEASE DON'T BE PREGNANT! What was she thinking? She's smarter than this!

"So, who cares if he hears? It'll make things easier right?"

"EASIER?! What the hell are you talking about, Emily?! Are you crazy!" Casey shrieked. Spacey, you took the words right out of my mouth.

"It'll tell him what you," Emily started to reply but never finished since Casey shut her up somehow on the other side of the wall…I heard some mumbling so I'd bet, Casey took a hand to Em's mouth. I'd laugh if I wasn't so worried about her.

Two hours later and sitting in my recliner, I'm still wondering what she won't tell me. See what I mean? She's constantly in my head that even my stereo, turned to maximum volume, playing the heaviest rock 

song in the world, couldn't drown her out. She's always in my thoughts to the point where she's become my conscience. Scary, eh?

"Em, are you sure this dress is ok?" Casey's voice drifted to me from the top of the stairs. I turned my head and saw her make her way down the flight of stairs with a careful grace that only she could pull off. Wearing only a simple black low cut dress with an empire waist thing and these sexy, killer red heels, she made my heart stop and made…other places…uncomfortable…I wish I could run my hand through that long silky hair. Why was I cursed with the hottest, smartest and most perfect for me girl as a stepsister? WHY?!

I saw a deep blush forming on her cheeks and realized that she saw me check her out. Even when she's beet red, she's still the most beautiful girl I know.

I couldn't help but smirk knowing that it had been_ me_ who made her blush. I looked over to Emily and said "Nice job, Fairy Godmother" as I quickly got up and walked out to kitchen before either of them realized I had just openly complimented Casey.


	4. Memorizing: unrealistic romantic notion

**A/N: You guys are wonderful and I'm truly sorry for the long wait you have had to endure but I assure you, it was for a valid reason. One that I won't bore you with. Hope this filler will be somewhat worth the wait. The party chapter will be up soon, I promise.**

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing**

Casey's POV

"OH MY GOD! Casey did you see that? He just totally checked you out!" Emily shrieked.

Did she seriously just ask me that? Honestly, how could I NOT notice him look at me like…well, like THAT. Whatever THAT is supposed to mean. With Derek I never completely understand his moods, words, or looks. Sometimes I imagined what it would be like dating him, kissing him…loving him. Then the harsh truth of reality nudges itself into my fantasies and I realize, with a sudden stab of hurt in my chest, that I'll never be more than that nerd who happens to be his stepmom's daughter. He doesn't even think of me as a sister. I'm just here. I'm nothing to him and I don't know why, when I can be everything he wants and needs.

"He was probably looking at you," I muttered in a depressed tone knowing that it could very well be true. Emily did look stunning in a plum shift dress embroidered with beads of various shapes scooping low along the collar. Her hair was straightened and her makeup played up her lovely brown eyes. Next to her, I felt invisible.

"I highly doubt that," Emily laughed wholeheartedly.

I raised an eyebrow and her laughter continued.

"Come on Case! We both know how the Derek and I situation went. Besides, I love Sheldon and everyone, including Derek knows this. Casey who are you trying to kid? How did you not notice him literally look you up and down? He wasn't just looking, Hun. He was memorizing…"she spoke in an almost reassuring voice, calm and convincing…well more or less.

Memorizing. I liked the sound of that. He was memorizing me in that moment as his chocolate eyes swept vigilantly over my body. Warily drinking me in, hoping I wouldn't protest…just an unrealistic romantic notion. A hopeless fantasy, I realized once again. He was just looking at my _anatomy_, not _me._

"He was just admiring a female body," I sighed miserably. "Come on, let's go".

"Casey," Emily began to speak before I cut her off.

"We're going to be late. I can't keep Max waiting because your perverted (**AN: as in distorted and wrong, not the other meaning**) mind believes that my step-brother wants me."

With that being said, I turned on my heel and stomped of the living room, not in anger but in fear. Fear that Derek wanting me could be true, but him loving me was next to impossible. I heard footsteps somewhere behind me. I turned when I reached the door, not seeing Emily as I had expected, but Derek beside her. My heart nearly stopped as I watched him stand there, pale and looking as though a weight was pulling him deeper into an ocean. He looked as though he was drowning. To me it seemed as though his eyes were trying to reveal something to me…confusion? Misery? Pain? Hurt? I wasn't sure. I wanted so very badly to run to him and hold him until whatever hurt him went away. Knowing I couldn't, I turned and walked away, feeling a familiar stab in my heart and the familiar prickle in the backs of me eyes. Letting a lone tear escape, I walked toward Emily's car knowing that Derek must've heard the entire conversation. In his eyes, I must've come across as thinking of him as no better than a typical, sex-crazed teenage boy. If he did like me at all in the way, I just broke not just his heart but my own as well simply because of fear. Any chance I had with him was lost the second I chose to leave and see Max rather than stay and confront the only one I wanted and loved more than anything. The tears silently fell then. Emily finally appeared, took one look at me and knew. I was in love with Derek, but couldn't be…not after what happened mere minutes ago. The tears continued to flow in a steady and unconscious pace. I didn't feel the wetness on my cheeks. Losing Derek made me numb.


	5. Confusion, hurt, plans and setups

**A/N: Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: Owned only in my dreams…:(**

Emily's POV

I looked at Derek as he came to stand beside me. Words couldn't describe the expression on his face. Looking at him I knew that he heard everything.

"I'm sorry," I mouthed. I've known for about 2 months that he liked…no,_ loved_ my best friend. This was the hardest secret for me to keep, but for Derek and Casey I'd do nearly anything. He nodded acknowledging me but looked at her retreating back, sadly. When she turned around and saw him, her shocked expression was replaced quickly with one of hurt. I heard Derek take a sharp breath and hold it, no doubt waiting for her to say something, anything. When she left without a word, he slowly exhaled as he threw his head back and covered his face with his hands in frustration. I awkwardly stood beside him until the compassionate side of me took over and made me place a hand on his back.

"Em, I don't know what else to do. She'd rather be with him, than me," he muttered into his hands. I had to strain to hear him, almost wishing I didn't hear this suddenly vulnerable side to Derek Venturi. Derek isn't someone who willing shows feelings, so this side of him scared me a little. His next words would shock me into silence for a few moments.

"I guess it's better that way, especially if she's pregnant with his kid, right?" he whispered, hands still on his face and a droplet fell slowly down his cheek…a tear? Derek? Crying? Could that be possible? Hang on…did he just say Casey's pregnant?!Oh crap! This isn't good…

"CASEY'S PREGNANT?! Derek, are you sure?" I stuttered, placing an arm around his back…comforting him and stabilizing myself.

"Em, don't pretend to be all surprised. I heard her tell you in her room," he growled, finally removing his hands and revealing an emotional wreck. He was feeling more emotions in this moment than he was used to feeling in an average day and it was taking a toll on him. I didn't understand what he was talking about until I remembered my conversation with Casey earlier today…

_(flashback)_

"_Oh my God…you do!"I screamed excitedly. If Derek hears this, he'll know! He'll finally ask her out!_

"_Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! Em shush! Derek will hear you!"Casey said in a panicking voice._

"_So, who cares if he hears? It'll make things easier right?" Just admit it, I thought._

"_EASIER?! What the hell are you talking about, Emily?! Are you crazy?!" Casey shrieked._

"_It'll tell him what you," I started before she covered my mouth and whispered "Not another word" menacingly in my ear. _

"_If he finds out, I won't be able to live through the humiliating rejection. If I'm your friend, you won't repeat this conversation to anyone," her voice quaked. "Please," she pleaded barely above a whisper. _

_(End flashback)_

"Oh, Derek. She isn't pregnant! I was trying to find out is she felt the same way that you do."

'How he thought the conversation was about pregnancy, I'll never understand', I thought to myself, mentally shaking my head.

"Oh," he answered softly, looking relieved.

"I almost got her to admit it," I lied. She admitted it more or less, but as her friend I couldn't repeat the conversation…I made a promise to her.

"Really?" he looked almost hopeful.

"Yeah," I smiled. "Go get her. Tonight at the party, get her to fall even more in love with you."

He laughed bitterly.

"Yeah, sure. That'll go over well with Cardboard. What should I tell him? 'Hey dickhead! Casey's mine'. Oh yeah, I can see it now. Me on the front page tomorrow morning with the headline 'Teen, 17 killed in fight for step-sister's love'. It'll be a story more famous than Bill and Monica."

"Get her to dance with you or something. I'm not saying to make a scene. I don't want you to get killed by the football team," I laughed.

"You think that'll work? The dancing I mean."

"Just try it, you never know. I'd better see if she's alright. In the meantime, get ready and meet us there."

He nodded and went upstairs, no doubt to find something decent, and by decent I mean clean, to wear.

Stepping outside I saw Casey standing beside my parents' (soon-to-be-my) car. Since Casey has her license, she was going to drive us to the party, but in the state she was currently in…we'd drive into a ditch instead. I had to calm down yet another friend, whose tears flowed freely this time.

"Case? What's wrong?"

"Ilikehimbuthedoesn'tlikemebackandhelookedsosadandit'sallmyfault," she blubbered in a language that only girls seem to understand.

"It's not your fault. Everything's going to be ok, Case."I pulled her into a hug.

"You don't know that," she spoke in a clearer voice.

"Trust me, ok? Everything will work out ok. Now stop crying and we'll fix your make-up."

"I don't really want to go, Em."

"It'll be worth it, I promise," I smiled and added 'as long as Derek shows up' to myself. "Come on, we'll have a great time."

She sniffled and pulled away.

"I guess," she replied in a depressed tone.

I nodded and pulled her toward my house to fix her make-up. If she saw Derek getting ready, the surprise would be ruined.

Casey's POV

_On the way to the party _

"Max, what do you mean you can't come?" I asked angrily on speakerphone. I got ready for a party I didn't even want to go to in the first place because of him and now he wasn't even going! I left Derek at home, miserable for Max and he wasn't even going to prove my choice was the right one by showing up and playing perfect boyfriend?

"Sorry, Babe. Like I said, I'm sick so I can't make it."

"You sound perfectly fine!"

"It's um… a migraine, so I should, you know, sleep it off?" he asked me.

"Whatever, I got to go. If you didn't want to come with me, you shouldn't have asked me, no FORCED me into going to this stupid waste of time! Max, you didn't need to make up an excuse not to go, especially a bad excuse. Next time go on your own!"

" So you aren't going?" he asked sounding…hopeful?

I hung up annoyed. What's his problem?!

"Argh!"

"Um, Case, we'll still have fun with or without him."

"Is it just me or did he sound like he was making the migraine up and like he doesn't want me there?"

"No, it sounded exactly like that," Emily sighed. "I'm sorry".

"Don't be," I replied coldly. 'First Derek, now Max…I'm on a roll today' I thought bitterly as I maneuvered the car into a parking spot near Sheldon's house.

"I'll be right back," Emily unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door. She was almost out of the car before she turned back to me and smiled. "We'll have fun, Case. I promise. Forget Max."

With that said she left and walked two houses down, toward Sheldon's house all the while on her cell phone. I sat there miserably listening to the sad songs on the radio, thinking only of Derek. Max was soon forgotten after the fight. Derek however lingered in my thoughts. I closed my eyes and his misery was all I could see. The pain in his expression that reflected my hurt perfectly was all I saw. Oh, Derek, what have I done? What should I do? I bit my lip and subconsciously picked up my cell and pressed speed dial number three…Derek. Getting a busy tone, I hung up angry once more, hoping against hope that he wasn't talking to some airheaded floozy.

Derek's POV

"Hello?" I picked up the phone as I threw shirt after shirt onto the floor. When was the last time we had laundry done?

"Derek? It's me. Guess what?!"

"I don't know, what?" I answered in a bored tone.

"Max and Casey got into a fight! Here's your chance!" Emily said excitedly.

I dropped my phone. Is that even possible? I have a chance with Case? Seriously?

"Derek? Derek, are you still there?" I heard Emily's voice come muffled from the cell phone on the floor.

"Yeah, you kind of caught me off guard. So what did the ass do this time?"

As she told me what happened, I smiled at how perfect the timing was.

Finding a black button-down shirt with a red pinstripe and a pair of dark jeans, I was almost ready to go.

"Listen, I got to get changed. See you soon, ok?"

"Of course!" Emily replied, excitement still heard in her voice.

"Later."

"Bye."

"Oh, and Em? Thanks for letting me know," I smiled.

"You're welcome," she giggled. "Just don't screw it up by getting killed by the football team, Ok?"

"I'll try not to." With that we hung up and I started to get ready.

Casey's POV

The sad songs continued, one after another like a chain of misery streaming into the car and further dampening my mood. Of all the people to fall in love with, I fall for the most egotistical and selfish person I know…aside from Max of course. At last Derek can care for someone else, Smarti's a great example of how…sweet and funny he can be. He's going to be a great father someday. That thought makes me smile as I imagine a little girl running to him and climbing into his arms screaming 'Yay! Daddy's home!' or "Daddy, can we play Dress-up? You can be a princess again.'

"Case? What's going on? What's with the smile?"Emily looked at me as though I'd lost my mind and looking back at that fantasy, I supposed I'd qualify as a person with mental health problems. There is no way that little girl would be our daughter, no way she'd have his eyes and my hair, no way she'd love hockey and ballet, and absolutely no way she'd be intelligent and have his sense of humour.

"Just an impossible thought, that's all," I sighed.

"Care to share?" Sheldon asked.

"Does he know?" I asked Emily.

"Hun, everyone knows," she knowingly smirked.

"Everyone?" I swallowed as panic and paranoia crept into me and took over every part of my body.

"Well, everyone who's smart enough to figure it out. We _are_ talking you and Derek, right?" Sheldon asked with a perplexed expression.

"Clearly," I replied shaking my head and rolling my eyes.

"So what were you thinking about?" Em said with the intent to continue to press on until I told her.

I shook my head, there was no way I'd tell her what I just imagined. No one could ever know how I let my heart's foolishness run away with me. I pulled out of the parking space carefully avoiding a collision and we speed away…at the legal speed limit of course, to the 'party of the year'.

_At the Party_

"Casey? Are you ever going to tell me why you were smiling?" Em asked for perhaps the hundredth time. She hadn't let it go, she needed to know why and planned on getting an answer. Unfortunately for her, I wasn't planning on giving her one.

"Emily, why don't we get a drink? The ride got me thirsty and with all the talking you did, I'm sure you're thirsty too," Sheldon said matter-of-factly, not realizing that he had insulted her.

I laughed at the sudden anger on her face.

"Not a word, Case," Emily said through gritted teeth reminding me of my pleading earlier today. I was sure she knew of my feelings for Derek, but she must also know why it'd be impossible to pursue. He's my step-brother, my nemesis, right? Wrong. So wrong it's like getting hit in the stomach every time I think of him as that. Derek isn't my nemesis, I don't hate him…I couldn't if I tried…and believe me, I've tried. I don't think falling in love with someone ever hurt me as much as this does now.

"Hey," he murmurs behind me. I see Emily's face light up and a knowing smile on Sheldon's before it hits me… I've been set up. Derek showed up even though he said he had work tonight. I turned slowly, his musky, woody scent drifting to me and making my mind foggy. However, the second I saw him, he took my breath away and my heart skipped a beat, as clichéd as that sounds, in that moment I stood still and stared at stunning god-like man before me. It took me another minute to notice that his shirt matched my outfit…yep I've been set up. This is all some cruel prank on his part and I refuse to let him toy with my feelings…but I'd been the one who hurt him when I left…no, he won't win this time. I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing I love him when I know he doesn't care about me.

This internal struggle continued before he smiled and said "I'm glad you like what I'm wearing but I didn't come here to stand. We came to party.'

**A/N: Once again this story will be placed on hold. The passing of my beloved grandfather has left my family and me heart-broken. We have so much to do before we can give him the burial he wanted back home in Portugal and as sorry as I am to disappoint you all, my family needs me more than ever before. One day I will return to this story, until then, please respect my wish to be with my family and properly mourn. Thank you.**

**-AC, December 12, 2008**


	6. Stop and stare

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing other than the storyline**

Derek's POV

I walk up to where I see Emily and Shlepper stand in front of Casey…how did I know it was her? You ask. Easy, I can find her with a blindfold. I probably know more about her than that dumbass she calls her boyfriend.

I smell her perfume as I walk closer, Chance by Channel- her favourite… and mine. She smells so good when she wears it. I take a deep breath knowing I might not speak to her the rest of the night…the smell makes me dizzy with how bad I want her. I don't just want her for sex though despite what you think.

"Hey," I mumble trying to clear my head and focus on the goal of the night-win Casey's love.

Emily's smile is a dead giveaway and Shlepper's attempted smirk doesn't help. Case is smart, she'll know this was a set-up. I lied about work, I didn't have a shift today. Stephanie and Dave are closing for me tonight. Even _they _know I love Case and Stephanie's only known me for three weeks. Sad, huh?

Case turns ever so slowly and I hold my breath, waiting. What was I waiting for? I don't know. Her gorgeous ocean eyes go wide for a moment and that perfect mouth opens ever so slightly. She looks me over, from my face to my shoes and back again…understanding appears in her eyes. She figured it out. That's my girl! I could feel pride sweep over my body or maybe it was just too hot in this house.

She still hasn't said anything and I'm beginning to go crazy waiting for something, anything to come out of her mouth. Nothing. She just stands and stares at me. I feel sick. What if Em's wrong? Oh God I must look so fucking desperate right know. Play it cool, she doesn't know I love her. I'm still ok.

"I'm glad you like what I'm wearing but I didn't come here to stand. We came to party," I say with a forced smile.

She laughs then. Music. That's all I hear and I relax. Right then, she looks me straight in the eye and I get lost. Wow, that's never happened to me with anyone before. We just stand there, staring into each other's eyes.

A throat clears somewhere nearby and I pull my eyes away for a moment. I still feel sick. I'm royally screwed. I feel things for her that I've_ never_ felt for anyone. Shit!

"Let's get you guys some drinks," Shlepper interrupts and gets a rather pissed off look from Em.

"Yeah man, it's hot in here. A cold beer sounds good."

Case looks at me, I don't have to look at her to know she doesn't approve of my underage drinking. Shit, ok I can fix this…think D, think.

"But you know, I'm driving tonight so Coke is fine."

"Derek are you feeling alright?" she askes in shock.

"Yeah, why?"

"I, um…nevermind. An iced tea would be good. Let's go," she starts to lead the way.

It takes two long strides before I'm walking next to her. I brush my arm against hers as we walk hoping to get a reaction. I see her shiver from the corner of my eye and can't hold back a smirk.

"Cold, Case?"

"Um, no…I, um…uh, I'm fine. Just… got a chill, you know? Someone must've opened the door," she stammers.

I got you right where I want you, babe. There's no fucking way I'm just a step-brother to you. You want me back, Case. Em wasn't lying, afterall. Relief starts to flood through me. I have a chance! Just as long as some other guy doesn't get in the way…


	7. Everything you want

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Enjoy! **

**AN: Thanks for being so patient with me and this fanfic. I truly appreciate everyone who has stuck with Drowning from the beginning…sorry for the year long wait, it's been a hard year but hopefully 2010 will be better for all of us **

Casey's POV

The skin on my arms turns to gooseflesh the moment his arm brushes mine. Why me? I wonder. Why am I unfortunate enough to date a lying chauvinistic pig, while the only guy I really want to be with is my step-brother?

I'm going to burn in hell aren't I? I'm not _even _that religious and I'm scared…these feelings can't possibly be normal. But if they aren't normal, why do they feel natural? Why do these emotions toward Derek, of all people, feel…daresay, right?

I feel his hand carefully clasp around my wrist as he leads us through the crowd toward the kitchen. Again, my body shivers. Why now? It's not like he's never touch me before…somehow this feels different though…almost like he returns me feelings.

I shake my head quickly to clear my thoughts. Clearly, that isn't the case. Derek couldn't nor wouldn't love, let alone _like_ someone like me…I'm just an extra in the movie he calls life. Once we graduate and go our separate ways, I'll see him maybe twice a year at most. Maybe then these feelings will disappear… I could only hope so. Derek and I can never be more than step-siblings simply because that will mess up the natural order of things, won't it?

We come to a stop. At least, our bodies do…my mind is still reeling over the possibility of never seeing him again. Never hearing that voice again. Never seeing that smirk. Never looking into those chocolate eyes…

"Uh, Case?" Derek's voice breaks through my over -analysis of our nonexistent relationship.

"Yeah, Derek?"

"Don't hurt yourself, ok?"

"What are you talking about? Why would I hurt myself?" I say confused. What on earth in this boy talking about?

"You're thinking too much. Again. You always do," he laughs gently. "Just relax. We're at a party, not study hall. Tonight's for fun,ok?"

"How?" Even more confused then before, I barely get the question out of my mouth.

"How? Easy, Case. I live with you. I know you," he replies without malice, almost tenderly. A voice I am not used to hearing from him.

That was sweet, I think to myself. I wouldn't dare tell him something he said made me melt a little more.

I nod and leave the topic to rest. Tonight is for fun-forget Max, forget school, forget being responsible…at least forget a little, forget these thoughts…

"You're doing it again," he smirks.

"What?"

"Over- thinking something."

Damn, how does he know that! How can he tell? Have I become an open book?

"Here," he says while passing a can of iced tea and a plastic red beer cup to me. He lets his fingers linger on the can and touches my fingertips briefly. Had my senses not been heightened near him, I wouldn't have felt the feather light touch.

"Thank you," I stutter. Why is he acting like this? This better not be a prank or I will never forgive him! He better not be toying with my feelings, isn't it bad enough that these feelings alone are hard to deal with?

"No prob, I figure a can is safer. Heard someone spiked the bottles of pop and I know how you hate underage drinking."

"That's very…thoughtful Derek. What's going on?"

"Nothing. Why does something have to be going on for me to be nice to you?" Derek voice comes out fast and in a slightly higher pitch.

He's up to something. Why, Derek,why? Why ruin an otherwise perfect night with a prank? I knew this is too good to be true!

"Because you're never nice to me!" The words spill out before I think them and I cover my mouth.

Nervous, stuttering Derek is replaced with stony, unfeeling Derek in seconds.

"I'm never nice to you? _Never _nice to you? Is that what you think? Is that really what you think of me? That I'm some heartless bastard incapable of being nice to someone? You know me better than that, Case. I've defended you countless times, times you don't even know about. Why? You ask? Why would I do that?" he's fuming at this point. The passion in his eyes makes my heart skip a beat as I wait to hear why he would put his reputation at stake for me.

"Hey, Case! Derek! Don't you guys just love this song?" Em appears out of nowhere and comes to what she thinks is my rescue. By now I'm too curious about what the answers to those questions are to be grateful for the interruption.

"Yeah, it's great, Emily," Derek with no hint of angry. He slouches his shoulders in defeat and places his fists deep into his pockets.

"Yeah, one of my favourites," I tell her all the while openly staring at Derek.

He looks up at me for a moment with unreadable eyes. It feels like a century has come and gone before he speaks again, in reality it couldn't be any more than a minute.

"Do you wanna dance?" he asks almost half-heartedly.

"You don't …,"I started to say before realizing I'll make the situation worse be telling him that he doesn't have to dance with me. "Sure".

He walks a step ahead of me to a corner in the living room that wasn't full of our intoxicated classmates groping each other in frantic sexual need. The song is an older, slightly slower song **(AN: Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon)**compared to the pulsing, heavier music played earlier and was completely out of sync with the public display going on in front of us.

Derek places a hand carefully on my hip and takes my hand in his. I admit, this wasn't what I expected at all, but I place my free hand on his upper arm and let the music take over.

My eyes are on his face the entire time, but his eyes remain shut as he mouths the song word for word. In a trance, I watch his lips move and fight the urge to kiss them. I know that watching those lips won't help fight this sudden need, so I rest my head on his shoulder.

The moment my head touches his shoulder, I realize he wasn't mouthing the words, he was whispering them. I hear him clearly in my ear and feel his warm breath play on my neck. The last verse he whispers louder, as though it's written for me, as though he means it. How can that be?

_I am everything you want  
I am everything you need  
I am everything inside of you  
That you wish you could be  
I say all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But I mean nothing to you  
And I don't know why_

_I don't know why_

_Why?_

_I don't know_

We stand like this well after the song ends. When I finally look up at him, I see hurt in his eyes. My heart feels heavy knowing that I could be the reason for that pain.

"I'm sorry, Der."

"It's fine," he says as rests his forehead briefly on mine then pulls himself away.

"No, it isn't Derek. Something's bothering you. What aren't you telling me?" I grab his arm in an attempt to keep him from walking away.

"CASEY! Hey! Where'd Max go? I thought he went to find you but I found you and lost him or did I find you and you lost him?" a very drunk and confused Ethan askes as he stumbled toward Derek and I.

"Ethan, Max isn't here. He told me he was sick," I begin to wonder if maybe Ethan took a hallucinogen at some point today.

"I saw him! He's here!"

"Ethan, sit down, man before you fall over," Derek says as he leads the large football player to a chair. "Now where did you say you saw Max?" Derek looks over to me with an expression showing me that he's as surprised as I am.

"He said he was going to go upstairs."

"WHAT?! He lied to me?!" by now I'm ready to shred Max to pieces as I make my way to the stairs.

"WAIT, CASE!" I hear Derek call me but continue forward.


End file.
